It has been a long long time since my last entry into my online journal/blog/word vomit catching and sharing space…. If anyone who watches this space also follows my online journey via social media, you will know that the big ol’ void has been full of many and varied health struggles, and the wonderful joys of the path life has taken me.
Chronic illnesses, diseases, syndromes…. The list of these things that affect my life seems to be growing almost every doctors visit recently. These things have stolen so much from me. I have faced the hardest decisions over the past few years and watched many of my dreams I have striven hard to build up for many years come to an end. But these decisions sometimes are nothing in comparison to how each and every day is a careful measuring out of how much energy I have or may not have to accomplish the simple things I need to do.
Oh how I wish I possessed a crystal ball; for each day I must carefully consider whether what I do will affect the coming days or even weeks.
If you have not read about the spoon theory by Christine Miserandino in regards to the day in the life of a person with a chronic illness I suggest you do. The link is here: THE SPOON THEORY
This is the inspiration behind this image. The weight of measuring out my spoons some days and some weeks is like an extremely heavy chain I am bound by. It blinds and binds me and allows me not much room to move within my life.
And yet here I am. With only a few spoons left tonight to spend I am using them to spend quality time with and have dinner with my children. And doing my best to keep a smile on my face for the life I still have and the love I still share with the few extremely special people who care for me. The things I have lost, and the things I feel have been stolen from me by this illness, I can only hope to one day replace. I am currently finally re-launched my photography business. I have had to do it very carefully and have calculated every part of the new business structure to ensure my clients get exactly what they expect, regardless of what my health is doing.
I am so so loved, cared for and supported now beyond what I ever imagined I possibly could have been or hoped to be by a wonderful network of beautiful friends and family. And while I possess the ability to create my art and use my words and voice I will do so to bring awareness to chronic illnesses, strength to the downtrodden, be a voice for those who don’t have one, love and care and hugs to anyone in a time of need, and stand up for anyone who needs it. And as long I am capable of capturing priceless memories, I will continue to do so.
For what better thing is there in the world than to truly add to it’s beauty than to just try to benefit from it?
Strength to all those who need it
Toowoomba Fine Art Photographer